Product Of The Year

Watching TV earlier this week I was appalled by an advert for the Tassimo coffee maker, sorry, coffee system. I’m not annoyed by the stupid name, the annoyingly stereotyped adverts, or the fact that the machine is just an attempt to tie people to one manufacturer by combining the freely available coffee, milk, and whatnot in one machine-specific proprietary one-use over-priced cartridge. That’s fine, I’m happy not buying one. I’m sure it fills a niche.

No, what annoyed me is that apparently the Tassimo is Product of the Year, at least in the field of drinks equipment.

Now, I’m not annoyed by the fact that it’s a pretty lofty claim for a kichen gadget that’s not even very original in it’s field, nor am I annoyed that Cillit Bang is nowhere to be found in the cleaning products section.

I’m not even annoyed by the fact that the Product of the Year badge is a badly disguised marketing gimmick where you pay for consideration by the public (well, the 12 thousand or so who can be arsed to return the form) and then pay if you win.

No, the thing that really tweaked me off was that it’s Product of the Year 2007. Eh, I had to check the calendar to make sure I hadn’t slept for nine months.

It’s a bit premature to be handing out the 2007 awards, no? How’s your typical wacky inventor going to feel when, after perfecting a machine that converts household waste into the delicious beverage of your choice, he realises he’s playing second fiddle to a glorified vending machine?

Cheeky fuckers.

I urge everyone to brandish their biros and insert the phrase ‘the first quarter of’ into the logo wherever they may see it.

(Probably best not to do it if it’s you’re seeing it on a website or a TV advert, you’re just going to get ink on your screen).

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